Plot Twist: The Things We Water Grow

By Lizzy.

Spotted: a woman who has built an entire personality around positivity suddenly becoming… kind of a grump.

I know. Shocking.

For most of my life, I have been the silver linings girl. The “everything happens for a reason” girl. The “let’s look on the bright side” girl. Frankly, if toxic positivity had a mascot, there were times I could have been in the running.

But over the past few weeks, something shifted.

I found myself focusing on the things that hurt.

The conversations that stung.

The moments that felt unfair.

The insecurities.

The disappointments.

Without even realizing it, I had become a collector of tiny hurts. I was carrying them around like emotional souvenirs, pulling them out at random moments and examining them from every possible angle. Every. Single. Angle. 

Then one day, after a few hard days, RH very gently pointed something out.

“Babe, you’ve been really negative lately.”

Ouch.

Now, before you start sharpening your pitchforks on my behalf, let me stop you right there. He wasn’t being mean. He wasn’t dismissing my feelings. He wasn’t telling me to just “be happy.”

He was lovingly holding up a mirror.

And the thing about mirrors is that sometimes they show us things we didn’t realize had changed.

My immediate reaction was, “No, I haven’t!”

Followed quickly by, “Well… maybe a little.”

Followed finally by, “Oh no. He’s right.”

Friends, he was right.

Somewhere along the way, I had become so focused on what was hurting me that I had stopped noticing what was healing me.

I was watering the weeds.

Now, before my fellow plant lovers come for me, hear me out.

Our thoughts are a lot like a garden. Whatever we water grows. If we spend all of our time replaying hurts, disappointments, fears, and insecurities, those things take over. They spread. Before we know it, they’ve crowded out the flowers.

That doesn’t mean we ignore pain. Pain deserves to be acknowledged. It deserves to be felt.

But it doesn’t deserve to become the entire landscape.

Because while I was busy focusing on what hurt, there was still so much beauty growing around me.

There were long talks with people I love.

Inside jokes in the group chat.

A hand reaching for mine.

Thoughtful check-ins.

Unexpected hugs.

Memes. So many memes.

The truth is, life can be hard and beautiful at the same time. We can feel hurt and deeply loved. We can struggle and still be grateful.

Acknowledging pain is healthy.

Living there permanently is not.

So lately, with the help of some very loving humans who know me well enough to call me out and love me through it, I’ve been trying to water different things.

Joy.

Gratitude.

Connection.

Laughter.

Presence.

And you know what? Slowly, almost imperceptibly, my garden is beginning to look like me again.

So if you’ve found yourself in a funk lately, consider this your gentle reminder to look around and ask yourself: What am I watering?

Because plot twist: the things we water grow.

Until next time, your garden can’t bloom if you are busy flirting with the weeds.

XOXO,

Lizzy